Actual Bumper Stickers

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes." "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot." "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep" "It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you." "I took an IQ test and the results were negative." "Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear." "Give me ambiguity or give me something else." "He who laughs last, thinks slowest" "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else." "Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies." "Consciousness: that annoying time between naps." "Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home." "3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't." "Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"