In case you feel unwanted...

If you ever feel unwanted, just remember poor Rodney... a few of RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. When I was born .... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father .... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...But he pulled through. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. Once when I was lost..... I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him .... do you think we'll ever find them? He said ... I don't know kid ....there are so many places they can hide. My wife made me join a bridge club. Next Tuesday is when I jump. I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get. I went to see my doctor. Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me? He said...I don't know but your eyesight is perfect. When I was born the doctor took one look at my face ...turned me over and said. Look ... twins! I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.