Signs You're Living In The 90's

You try to enter your password on the microwave.

You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."

You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.

You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back "What's for dinner?"

Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.

You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your email buddies via a Web page.

Your daughter just bought on CD all the records your college roommate used to play that you most despised.

Every commercial on television has a web site address at the bottom of the screen.

You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date. And now sells for half the price you paid.

The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.

Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.

Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

You consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.

Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.

You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.

You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.

Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN's homepage to your bookmarks.

You have a "to do list" that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off.

You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.

Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains.

You assume the question to valet park or not is rhetorical.

You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.

Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long that some of the products don't even exist any more.

You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their process.

You get all excited when it's Saturday and you can wear sweats to work.

You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.

You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.

You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are acceptable English phrases.

You know the people at the airport hotels better than you know your next door neighbors.

You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday night plans.

You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.

You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.